Anyonebutmeplease’s Neighborhood

Some of Papa's photos mum found in an old album.

Diggers Ball, rural NSW - 1952.

Diggers-ball1952

Diggers-ball-1952

Diggers-ball-1952-the-comperes

Old-nick

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yes - i have embraced the idea that the holidays are on their way. i always seem to be in denial that the summer is over.

so anyway.

i have a small family, which makes it great, and seeing as though i'm not dating anyone - i don't have to buy anything for his family either which will be a money saver this holiday season.

here's what i'm thinking so far:

cards for everyone (which i need to get started on, i have plenty of stuff lying around and can start anytime)

spice blends for everyone (i got some recipes from cooking light for a herbs de provence, garam masala and one other one that i can't remember)

homemade stuffed forest owl plushies for amber, liz and my brother's girlfriend, kristin (i want to personalize them in some way):

Owlplushie

soap and/or candles for the ladies at work, which i could probably start at any time. i have most of the stuff at home now.

i want to make a tote bag of sorts for my aunt and my mom and maybe for the owl plushie girls depending on how ambitious i am, but i wouldn't count on that.

so i'm just stuck on my dad and brother - it's hard to make an owl plushie for a man. i totally want to make something for them, just not sure what.

if anyone has a craft idea for a man - i'd love to hear it...something useful and not cheesy.

....I got sent this in an email today, I love somebody with a dry sense of humour like I have.

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - Can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some info about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (UK)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking

Well, Lizzie's school report came home today.

And before I start I just have to point out that she did lose her mojo this year. I dunno what happened. Friends, boyfriend, parties, turning 17. Shit happens.

But it came back, so she told me we have to ignore this report.

So the first subject I came to was Maths.

And I really didn't get past that because it was the funniest Teacher Comment I think I've ever read on a report.

 it said.

Lizzie is a student with the ability required to do the work but finds it very difficult to fully concentrate on a task and is always talking with peers and occasionally eating.

I said to her - what are you occasionally eating?

But he is a bit of a nutter. One day there was a girl in the class using one of those vicks inhalers. You know the white sticks you put up your nose and inhale to clear your nose when you have a cold?

Anyway he rang up the girls mother and told her that she was sticking tampons up her nose during class.

Now I must admit that Lizzie did tell him that it was a tampon. But she was joking. And you'd think he would check before he rang and told the girls mother.

Children-are-a-blessing

2 comments

can i just bitch about something for a minute?

so i was really happy to find out that target carried my generic prescription and i could purchase it for $9 as oppose to $50 at walgreens.

so i went through the nonsense of transferring my prescription, etc. they couldn't fill it right away because it had to be special ordered so i had to come back today to pick it up.

turns out that it's still $50 because the generic that's on the list isn't the extended release version which is what i actually take.

damn.

still paying $50 per month. and now i have to make inconvenient trips to target to pick it up. and i'm too lazy to get it transferred back now. i have to get a prescription renewal next month, so i'll probably just bring it back to walgreens.

11 years ago i paid $25 for the brand name version. wtf? healthcare is such a crock.

Suggested by JM:

“Life is too short to read bad books.” I’d always heard that, but I still read books through until the end no matter how bad they were because I had this sense of obligation.  That is, until this week when I tried (really tried) to read a book that is utterly boring and unrealistic. I had to stop reading.

Do you read everything all the way through or do you feel life really is too short to read bad books?

I've almost always completed books that I've started.  Maybe because I usually read books that have been well-reviewed or maybe because I'm generally an optimist and that even after a slow start I hope that it might get better, or maybe I have a stick-to-it-iveness that says if you're going to start something you might as well finish it.

It

Stephen King

Speaking of of finishing it, that does remind me of one of the few books I didn't finish -- "IT" from Stephen King.  Clocking in at over a thousand pages and at the apex of his drug-addled, no-one-will-edit-him 80s long windedness (Steve: more isn't always better) -- I plodded along in this for about 400 pages and then said, "No mas!"

Oddly, I know several people for whom this book was one of their favorites, but I couldn't stand IT.

Conando!

Soooo, we went to the Conan O'Brien taping yesterday.  It was awesome!  We saw Jaleel White (Steve Urkle) in the parking structure!  Too cool!

Heather Locklear and Dr. Drew were the guests!

Conando made an appearance!  Conando?  CONANDO!

Mario Lopez had a cameo in an episode of Noches De Passion con Senior Obrien!*  Shirtless Mario Lopez? Yes, por favor.

We sat in the FRONT ROW!  I was about 5 feet from Conan! OMG! FIVE FEET FROM CONAN!

The band came out and one of my friends got to play the maraca like thingy that the band member handed her!

Conan sang at the end of the show!

CONAN WALKED RIGHT BY AND SMILED AND WAVED TO US!

AHHHHH! BEST DAY EVER!

Except on the way there Shaniqua's car was rear ended.  We were in stop and go traffic.  We stopped.  The girl behind us stopped.  The guy behind her did not stop.   Sharon's car and the other girl's car weren't bad, but the Chevy that hit them, was... In the end it didn't take up too much time and we still got to sit up front anyway.

Oh, and by the way, I have to hand it to the Tonight Show people... there were signs everywhere, and it was really, really easy to find.  The only thing I think they can do better is number the tickets when you get in so there's no confusion as far as who gets to go in first.  Some people got all pissed off at us because we weren't in "line" but we'd gotten there BEFORE them.  It was werid.

Anyway, we had a GREAT time!  If you ever get the chance, I highly reccommend going to see a taping.  It's super fun!

-K.

My birthday is at the end of the month and I have come to the critical realization that my birthday is in fact an omen that hell will rule my world until it passes. Evidence? You want evidence? Mmmmkay. 

Look! NumNuts! I mean YumNuts!

For the record, my father's favorite expression while driving when I was a kid: Get the fuck out of the way, NumNuts!

(I love the package design though.)