I'm here... Now what?

For the past 6 months I've been focusing on getting to Portland.  I've gotta get to Portland.  I've gotta get to Portland.  Can't stand Maine, gotta get to Portland.

Now that I'm here I'm kind of freaking out.

I don't have much money so I have to start working soon.  And with every fiber of my being I don't want to go back to the Olive Garden but it's the smart thing to do.  That way I can write off my trip, have a job and still have insurance. 

Lesley's mom wants her to go to Singapore in March and Lesley asked me if I wanted to go.  I'd love to go but I don't have the money so Lesley's gonna see if she can get me a free ticket which would be AWESOME.  That's another reason why I should go back to the Olive Garden.  Because I don't care if I just quit there.  I could come back from Singapore and find another job.  

Then there's the question of whether or not I want to stay in Portland.  And by stay I mean work here or work on the train.  I would kind of like to hang out here for a bit.  Chill out, make some friends, and just BE in Portland.  But I also want the money that working on the train would bring.

I've made a new friend.  I fear that this friend is going to turn into a long term commitment and we all know how I handle those.  Well, the commitment itself isn't that bad it's more the idea of it that FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT.  The friend... his name is Hamish.  He's a 6 month old cocker spaniel and I'm growing more in love with him everyday.  He belongs to Elaine and her husband but they have decided that they can't handle two hyper-active kids a cat and a puppy.  (Who could?)  Anyway they've been looking for someone to take him and Lesley has mentioned bringing him with us but I didn't really take her seriously until I met him.  He's so fucking great.  Dumb as shit.  But adorable and lovable as all hell.  They got him from a mall pet-store so I'm sure he's been in-bred about a thousand times at one of those puppy farms which would explain why he's so stupid.

A dog.  Wow. Total lifestyle change.  After Lucifer I decided against pets because they're too much work.  Cat's not much so but dogs... they're basically like having a kid that poops outside.  I don't have the lifestyle for a dog.  I move around to much, I like being free to go and do and move and live wherever I want to.  

But I love this dog.

I think I could handle it.  If Lesley will help me out and take over dog custody for a few weeks at a time, should I decide to work on the train. 

Monday.  

Monday I'm going to go to the Olive Garden.  I'm going to hate it and I'll probably vomit in my mouth a little bit even as I'm smiling at the GM, but I'm going to go.  And I'm going to convince them that I've got the HOSPITALIANO! that they want and I'm everything they could ever desire in a server.  Then, as soon as I find out about Singapore I'm going to start looking for another job.

Train, no train.  We'll decide on that later. 

Then there's the Terrorist.  Which really has nothing to do with my pseudo mid-life crisis but I feel bad.  I was supposed to call him today to hang out but I never did.  Why didn't I?  I don't fucking know.  Now it's too late, well no it's not but I'm going to hang out with Lesley at her work and let her feed me free food.  And that's going to last until 12ish so yeah, I guess it is too late.  I think, as much as I want to meet him I need to relax about it.  I JUST got back.  He's a cool cat.  He knows I've got stuff going on and though I do want to hang out with him I have other obligations... such as finding a dog friendly apartment.

Fuck.