Scarlet Begonias and a touch of the blues.

Disclaimer: My vagina is not happy.  I'm stoned.  Lets use some deductive reasoning to figure out that because of these two things, combined with the fact that I am blogging means there's going to be probably some details you don't wanna hear about.  Unless you're a sick, nosey muthah fucka.  But hey... it takes one to know one.

Chris got home not too long ago.  While wandering around collecting things for a shower he noticed my subject line and said something about the Dead.  Though it is a Dead line I'm not actually listening to the Dead.  I'm listening to Sublime.  Then after a brief conversation I realized that I TOTALLY need to listen to some music I haven't listened to in awhile.

Chris is laughing and I have a sneaking suspicion it's at me.

Anyway... I ran in, got my CD book and in mere moments I'm gonna be jamming out to tunes of my past.  That reminds me, the other day when I was getting ready for work Lesley informed me that she's never met anyone who rocks out while getting ready as much as I do.  What an awesome compliment!!

Update... Though it took some work I finally got Cd's playing.  Though good, so far this experience isn't as magical as I thought it would be.  That's alright, I've got a bunch of Cd's, I'll find something that hits the spot.

Work last night was... eh.  I worked with my general manager.  Which is cool because she's salaried and doesn't get a cut of the tips which means I got them all.  Though I haven't actually counted them I had to of made $20-$25.  Which is unheard of for that place.  Working with the GM wasn't actually a bowl of cherries but she did inform me that I'm going to be getting a $.75/hr raise effective July 1st and she's getting the uppers that I should be considered for Asst. Manager.  Though I don't think that sounds like a great idea because I'm not really into Management it's awesome that she thinks that.  There's nothing open at the moment but considering there are 5 stores and they basically have disposable employees it's something that could happen before too long.  I'd rather find something serving some place else.  I've kind of given up on the job hunting thing until after Nate leaves.
(Finally... got to the awesome song on this Cd!  There's some hardcore rock-age going on over here.)

Went over to the Terrorist's house last night after work.  Which normally doesn't happen on weeknights because he has to be at work at 9am but the past few nights exceptions have been made.  I feel bad though.  He's loosing sleep, two nights ago, I was at the door for 5 or 10 minutes knocking and ringing the bell 'cause he had dozed off and could barely keep his eyes open once I was inside.  (It was really cute, though.)  Then again I'm loosing sleep as well, kind of and he is the one who suggests it.  (I'm trying to talk myself out of feeling guilty, for some reason when I dropped the Catholic religion the guilt part of it felt the need to hang on and occasionally* rear it's irritating head.)

I think my boobs are shrinking.  I've been slowly dropping a few pounds here and there over the past... whatever.  Cool!  Actually awesome!  But I don't really want that weight to come from my boobs.  The reason I think my boobs are shrinking is because I often store things in my bra... Money, phone, Mp3 player, lighter, bowl... ya know... the necessities.  Twice this week, stuff has fallen out.  I don't think my tata's are taking up the same amount of space therefore the "stuff" isn't as secure as it normally is.  That's crap.

My vagina. 
I don't think I'll ever understand the vagina.  It's kind of a parent/child type relationship.  I love it dearly and can't imagine my life without it but I just don't get why it does what it does.
I thought I had another case of the broken va jay jay.  Started garlic treatment then I realized I was starting my period.  Then it occurred to me that in the past I used to get the symptoms of the broken va jay jay around my period, so i figured it was just a slight imbalance cause of the changing environment.  That's cool and all but there was something still not right that's when I realized that there were little cuts or skin tears.  (Sounds worse than it is...though don't get me wrong it's not entirely pain free.)  I have no clue what the fuck this is from.  I mean, the T and I aren't exactly gentle but there hasn't been anything lately that would cause this.  Tres Weird.  Oh well, it's mostly gone away.

My Uterus.
Is fucking with me.  That's the only explanation I have.  I finally started my period.  I think it's really weird that I start shortly after having a broken condom incident which is the first example that it's fucking with me.  The second is that I'm not practically hemorrhaging.  It's been 7 months.  There's gotta be a lotta shit that needs to be cleaned out but nope, it;s a nice light "normal" period.  Actually it's lighter than normal.  I haven't be doubled over from cramps or nausea.  It's all very weird to me but I'm totally okay with it.  Last time I went this long between periods I could barely walk my cramps were so bad and at one point I woke up (at Nates) and actually thought I was hemorrhaging or miss-carrying an unknown fetus.  

I've always kind of viewed my uterus as a sort of subconscious.  It's the part of me that wants to get married and have babies and do all that "normal" or "typical" stuff.  Maybe that's why it gets so pissy sometimes, because I constantly fight to push those feelings away.  I've gotta work on that.  It's okay to want those things in fact, it's very normal to want those things...right?

Fuck, it's almost 2p.  I have been screwing around online for like 5 hours.  HOLY FUCK.  I need to go smoke a bit more then shower.  It's gonna be a good one! But first, I need to find a good shower cd!  :-)
 
*By "occasionally" I mean all the fricken time.