8 posts tagged “adult”

I attempted this last night but I kept falling asleep so I'm going to do it again today.

Loves:

-Lazy Cuddly mornings in bed.
-The perfect cuppa coffee.
-Being Productive

Loathes:

- The fact that my body hurts from sexing but I didn't DO anything.  Actually I don't really mind it that much, it's like a 
  little reminder of the events that took place last night.
- Being in debt.
- My severe lack of motivation today (most days).

I never figured out a budget.  That's bad.  I need one.  I will do it though.  I just have to get the motivation to actually look at that shit.  It's time to grow the fuck up and face the fact that I'm an adult and I have bills to pay and whatnot.  I did, however, pound out a letter to my dad and ideally after I finish this post I'm going to go "face the day" which will include making sure it's in the mail (before the post dude gets here.)

The people who live on the far end of my building (The By-The-Way's) have a baby .  He's about 8 months old or so, cute fucking kid.  Supper adorable.  Anyway, Mrs. By-The-Way is a stay at home mom.  She seems like a nice enough lady but whenever I see her she looks completely haggard!  I feel kind of bad for her.  I never want to experience that.  Granted I know nothing of the specifics of her situation.  She could have chronic fatigue syndrome... there could be a billion reasons why she looks so wrecked all the time but I think it's probably that she's stuck in the house all day with the kid.  Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with stay at home parents, if that's what you wanna do, cool.  I just don't think I could do it. 

I'm such a noise neighbor.  Mrs. & Baby By The Way just left (which is what prompted the last paragraph) they just got home.  Must have gone to Freddy's.  Now they're sitting in the car so I can't tell if they went to Freddy's or not. 

Fuck, I need a hobby.

Okay time to go be productive.

I don't even know where to begin. 
Actually I don't feel as though I should even begin until I can talk to the T about stuff.
Hopefully that'll happen tonight or tomorrow night.

It's getting late.  Today is baby momma day, so we can't be late getting to the airport.

Lesley comes home next week.  I can't wait.  We need pho.

I don't know why but the girls being away has inspired me to get shit done.  I've made a few random todo lists here and there but this one is going to be the mutha-load.  All the stuff I've been putting off.  All the stuff that's minor and probably shouldn't be on a ToDo list... everything. 
I tried getting LIttle T to help me but I've learned that having a 9 year old as a personal assistant isn't a great idea... they're forgetful as hell!! 

• Get pics from Walgreen's   (Done!)
  
• Decorate wall with them
• Laundry  (Done! ... Plus I did all of the T's and Little T's ... Yes I'm Amazing!)
  
• Clean (done) , clean, clean.
• Attempt to organize photos. 
  
• Call/Email landlord about tub/rent.  (Done!)
• Mail cards.  (Done!)
  
• Convince mom to help me with computer endeavors.
• Talk to Katie  (Done!... She is freakishly in love!)
  
• Check Mail.  (Done!)
  
• Find another book to read. (Done for now)
  
• Get music to make Cd's
• Organize adult stuff.  (Bill type things)
•  Find job  (I'm realizing how much I hate job hunting.  Especially in this market.  New Goal - 3 resumes a day)
  
• Get gas  (Done.. $12 to fill my tank! ..granted I was only 1/4 down but still!)
  
• Register to vote.  (Done!)
  
•  Pay utilities   (Will be done before the end of the night... well tomorrow at the lastest)
  
•  Go to bank.  (Done!)
  
•  Pick up Check/Get boxes for Alex/Get Alex's phone number  (Done)
  
• Google "Making Pizza" to find a good/kid friendly pizza making ideas (that aren't english muffin pizzas.)
  
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I left a few empty spots for when I remember all that other shit I want to do.
Now I must go pass out like a fuck and get up early and get coffee and go watch LIttle T and some how figure out how to make cleaning my apartment fun for him. 

My head is throbbing. 
So badly that it kind of makes me want to vomit.

I closed with my manager tonight.  I don't know who's worse.  Her or New Guy.  At least with her I get all the tips and we're generally out of there super early.  She's very much a "go to work to work" type.  Which is cool and all but when it's as slow as it was tonight a little harmless chit chat would make the night go by a bit faster.  Ugh.

Stayed at the Terrorist's house last night.  Got there and was in bed within the hour.  Which is basically what our relationship has been reduced to over the past week or two.  He mentioned it this morning.  How it kind of bothers him that we haven't really gotten to spend much QT together. The comment kind of caught me off guard to be honest.  I don't really know why but it did.  It's not that I hadn't noticed it, it's not that I didn't agree with it, I just hadn't actually admitted it to myself until he vocalized the words.  Because of the whole "incapable of adult relationship's" thing I had tricked myself into thinking that it was just sex that I was missing I didn't even think of the emotional aspect.  Wow, that snuck up and bit me on the ass.  Oh well, life is busy for both of us at the moment and it's only going to get busier.  Which sucks, a lot, but there's not much we can do about it.  Just have to give it time, things will even out after a bit.  I hope.
`
Fuck.  It's 230a.  I was supposed to be in bed by two.
I need to go to bed, I have to be downtown at 10a. 
Fuck, that's in less that eight hours. 

I was up until 5am, hit the 4 page mark and still am not done with the letter to my dad.  I was going to get up early and continue it but I saved it on Lesley's computer, not my USB drive and she took her computer to school today.  Oh well.

My Week in Bullets...

• Had the conversation with The T (see "2 out of 3 ain't bad...)  It didn't go like planned, mainly because I'm incapable of adult relationships due to my lack of  adult communication skills.  More or less I said that I will probably back off because so much time together is causing "emotions" said "emotions" were thankfully left undefined.
• Proceeded to spend the next 4 nights there.  I don't wanna back off.  I like him, I like hanging out with him, so fuck it.
• Helped him take care of some shit going on with his kid which involved driving to Hillsboro, hanging out in a court house, sitting outside the court house (getting a great tan), doing lots of dishes, providing moral support, drinking beer, partaking in BBQ activities, cleaning his fridge (and defending him to his dad when his dad started to give him shit about me being the one cleaning the fridge... it's SOOO shiny now!), laying on his back roof and getting more of a tan.  Granted these things obviously aren't all exactly related to the Little T crisis but they all happened within the same 48 hour period.
• Fought with Chris.
• Fought with Chris some more.
• Met the Ogre.
• Hung out with the Skinhead (my neighbor)*
  
• Was told by 3 people (Terrorist, Lesley and Nathan) to not sleep with the Skinhead.  (Do ya'll actually think just because I talked to him means I'm going to fuck him???  Common people give me some credit!!)
  
• Didn't see Lesley for awhile.
• Actually went over 24 hours without phone, text or visual contact from Miss. Lesley.
• Started getting along with the 19 year old supervisor.  She's a good kid, if somewhat young and inexperienced.
• My manager has basically told me she loves me and asks me every day if I like my job... I feel like an ass every time I lie to her face and say... "Yes, I do"
• Pissed the 19 year old supervisor off, took the adult route, apologized, promised to work on the thing that pissed her off.
  
• Payed Lesley about 1/2 of what I owe her.
• Payed my mom about 1/440 of what I owe her. 
  
• Decided that I'm going to stop being so cheap and get my coochie waxed.  Yay! For Coochie Waxing!!  I can't wait!
  

I think that's more or less it.  Okay, that's not true but that's all I can think of at the moment.  I'm at the Red Square and they're playing Christmas Music.  Blech.  It's fucking May!!
I'm gonna go send out a resume or two and then possibly go lay out on my front lawn.

*His skinhead ties aren't exactly known at this point but he has a swastika on his right tricep and therefore we have dubbed him "the skinhead"

I don't like grapefruit.
I know that's a bit anti-climactic.

Even though I don't like them, for some unknown reason I still feel the need to buy them every now and then. 
Why?
Well, okay, I need to be honest.  It's not that I don't like them, it's more that I don't like eating them.  I feel that they're not worth the effort involved.  (Yes, I know I'm lazy.)
It's inevitable though, at some point, I'll be in the produce department and I'll get the urge to buy some grapefruits.  I'll get them home where they'll sit on the counter until a colony of mold moves in, I'll get completely disgusted, throw them out and vow never again to buy a grapefruit.
I bought a couple of grapefruits the other day.
I'm an idiot.
I'm forcing myself to eat them though.

Took an accidental nap today.
Didn't mean to fall asleep.  My theroy is that if I slept this afternoon I would be wide awake tonight and that would just fuck up my sleep schedule but I laid down and passed out like a mofo.
It was good, though.
I needed it.
Woke up and had to pee so bad I thought there was 6 gallons of liquid in my bladder and someone standing on it.  It wasn't an immediate thing though.  I laid there for a minute or two then realized that I was going to pee myself if I didn't get up soon.  Which is probably a good thing because I'm pretty sure I'd still be asleep if that wasn't the case.

I was famished too. 
Then I realized it probably has something to do with the fact that I haven't had more than a bagel a day for the past few days. 
So I made a bagel.  (I'm not always incredibly bright when I wake up.)
Was still hungry...
Yep.  That's when I did it.
I had a fucking grapefruit.
One more to go and I'm done with them!

Think I'm going to go do some dishes and possibly take a shower and get laundry ready.  Actually I should get laundry ready first cuz I don't NEED to shower or do dishes.  But I do NEED to do laundry and though I don't NEED to have it ready when the T calls it would be the polite thing to do, cause he is in-fact letting me do some free laundry at his place. 
Tsk tsk tsk, he's sneaking me in after the kid is asleep.
I sometimes think I forgot that I'm now really, definitely, an adult. 
'Cause in situations like this, when my friend is the parent and being the parent means you make the rules, I still mildly feel like I'm going to get in trouble if I get caught. 
Like Little T is going to ground Big T and call my mom if he finds out I went over to do laundry and watch Tv after he went to bed.
I need to get over that.

I never know which "cuz" "cause" to use. 
Based on the firefox spell check thingy "cause" is the correct one to use.  Wonder how good at grammar firefox is?

(Updated part... for some reason Vox won't let me color it purple... DAMN YOU VOX)                                                                       I've spent the majority of my day since I've been out of work in my underwear... and I LOVE IT.  :-)   Just wanted to share. 

Why?
Because I had ice cream for breakfast.

I generally don't even eat breakfast.  It's too early for food, ya know? 
Today... today was different.  All I could think of was that damn rocky road in the freezer. 
I even had an internal (and occasionally external) battle with myself about it. 
Ultimately the kid in me won. 
I am having Orange Juice with it too.  (There's a little bit of healthiness)

I'm supposed to hang out with Chris today.  He's still sleeping.  I should get him up.  No. I should take a shower.  No.  I should get him up then take a shower!  Eureka!  I'm a  Genius!!

Lesley's mom is arriving tomorrow morning.
I'm kind of nervous about meeting the parents. 
Granted... parents generally love me but I'm still nervous. 
She's got a thick accent... what if I don't understand her? 
I hope she buys us a pretty kitchen table. (Yes I know that awful of me but I don't feel bad cause Lesley feels the same way.)

Shower time!  No.  Wake Chris up... then shower time!!

I think one of my problems in life is that I tend to think of my life as a movie.

 

Life isn't like it is in the movies...  The perfect boy isn't going to show up on my door step (especially when I'm on a ship in the middle of the ocean) and shower me with affection and flowers and all that cheesy (but great) movie shit.  That's not going to happen. 

 

And when I have my sad moments thinking about things have have gone by and will probably never be again there's no back ground music with a split screen showing me being miserable and him being miserable but in different places.  The truth is he's probably not miserable, he's probably playing golf or hanging out with his girlfriend or some other perfectly normal thing that I don't want to think could go on when I'm all depressed and sad.

 

I need to re-train my brain to accept that tho one can live happily ever after it's not going to be a Hollywood version of happily ever after. 

 

And that's okay.   I think. 

 

I'm getting old.  I'm starting to think about adult things.  Things like where do I want to buy a house and settle down and spend a large chuck of the rest of my life.  And with who.  I don't have the capital for this kind of shit.  I need more money to be happy.  (I'm Joking)

 

I spent over 3 hours in a closet tonight de-stuffing and stuffing menus.  And I worked a triple today.  But that's okay because now I"m going to have all of tomorrow off.  I'm going to go to Lahaina and get some Pho and hang out at the beach for a few hours.  It'll be good. 

 

I'm going to go to bed now.  Actually I'm gonna go see if they're serving anything that somewhat resembles food in crew mess then I'm going to go to bed. 

 

Nite nite.