2 posts tagged “emotions”

My head is throbbing. 
So badly that it kind of makes me want to vomit.

I closed with my manager tonight.  I don't know who's worse.  Her or New Guy.  At least with her I get all the tips and we're generally out of there super early.  She's very much a "go to work to work" type.  Which is cool and all but when it's as slow as it was tonight a little harmless chit chat would make the night go by a bit faster.  Ugh.

Stayed at the Terrorist's house last night.  Got there and was in bed within the hour.  Which is basically what our relationship has been reduced to over the past week or two.  He mentioned it this morning.  How it kind of bothers him that we haven't really gotten to spend much QT together. The comment kind of caught me off guard to be honest.  I don't really know why but it did.  It's not that I hadn't noticed it, it's not that I didn't agree with it, I just hadn't actually admitted it to myself until he vocalized the words.  Because of the whole "incapable of adult relationship's" thing I had tricked myself into thinking that it was just sex that I was missing I didn't even think of the emotional aspect.  Wow, that snuck up and bit me on the ass.  Oh well, life is busy for both of us at the moment and it's only going to get busier.  Which sucks, a lot, but there's not much we can do about it.  Just have to give it time, things will even out after a bit.  I hope.
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Fuck.  It's 230a.  I was supposed to be in bed by two.
I need to go to bed, I have to be downtown at 10a. 
Fuck, that's in less that eight hours. 

I was up until 5am, hit the 4 page mark and still am not done with the letter to my dad.  I was going to get up early and continue it but I saved it on Lesley's computer, not my USB drive and she took her computer to school today.  Oh well.

My Week in Bullets...

• Had the conversation with The T (see "2 out of 3 ain't bad...)  It didn't go like planned, mainly because I'm incapable of adult relationships due to my lack of  adult communication skills.  More or less I said that I will probably back off because so much time together is causing "emotions" said "emotions" were thankfully left undefined.
• Proceeded to spend the next 4 nights there.  I don't wanna back off.  I like him, I like hanging out with him, so fuck it.
• Helped him take care of some shit going on with his kid which involved driving to Hillsboro, hanging out in a court house, sitting outside the court house (getting a great tan), doing lots of dishes, providing moral support, drinking beer, partaking in BBQ activities, cleaning his fridge (and defending him to his dad when his dad started to give him shit about me being the one cleaning the fridge... it's SOOO shiny now!), laying on his back roof and getting more of a tan.  Granted these things obviously aren't all exactly related to the Little T crisis but they all happened within the same 48 hour period.
• Fought with Chris.
• Fought with Chris some more.
• Met the Ogre.
• Hung out with the Skinhead (my neighbor)*
  
• Was told by 3 people (Terrorist, Lesley and Nathan) to not sleep with the Skinhead.  (Do ya'll actually think just because I talked to him means I'm going to fuck him???  Common people give me some credit!!)
  
• Didn't see Lesley for awhile.
• Actually went over 24 hours without phone, text or visual contact from Miss. Lesley.
• Started getting along with the 19 year old supervisor.  She's a good kid, if somewhat young and inexperienced.
• My manager has basically told me she loves me and asks me every day if I like my job... I feel like an ass every time I lie to her face and say... "Yes, I do"
• Pissed the 19 year old supervisor off, took the adult route, apologized, promised to work on the thing that pissed her off.
  
• Payed Lesley about 1/2 of what I owe her.
• Payed my mom about 1/440 of what I owe her. 
  
• Decided that I'm going to stop being so cheap and get my coochie waxed.  Yay! For Coochie Waxing!!  I can't wait!
  

I think that's more or less it.  Okay, that's not true but that's all I can think of at the moment.  I'm at the Red Square and they're playing Christmas Music.  Blech.  It's fucking May!!
I'm gonna go send out a resume or two and then possibly go lay out on my front lawn.

*His skinhead ties aren't exactly known at this point but he has a swastika on his right tricep and therefore we have dubbed him "the skinhead"