6 posts tagged “fight”

It's been fucking insanely hot this week.  Okay so not really that hot but hot for this area.  I like the heat, it's nice and good and wonderful as long as I don't have to actually do anything.  If I can sit around all day doing nothing or just go to the beach then it's a wonderful thing. 
Unfortunately life isn't like that, so more often than not when it's hot it's just uncomfortable.

Today, is rainy. 
According to the Radio it's going to be rainy and stormy all week.  Thundershowers type stormy.

I can't say I'm bothered by this.

I fucking love thundershowers.  They're one of the greatest weather things ever.  Rainy days are good for being lazy.  The best thing to do on a rainy day is cuddle up in bed with that special someone and just veg all day.  That sounds glorious.  Though, totally not going to happen but I could wake the kid up and make him go watch movies with me in the magical bed.  Somehow, it's not quite the same.  :-)

Speaking of Little T.  What the fuck?  He's still passed out.  He's NEVER slept this late.  I was actually a little bit worried about him because of this I thought about checking to see if  he was breathing but he's moved a bit so I wont go in there armed with a mirror to hold under his nose.  It's very weird though.

I totally forgot my cds.  I got a spindle of CD-R's so I could make some more work cd's and I could burn all the pictures from Nates vacation to cd for him.  (Still haven't heard from him.)  But I fucking forgot the fuckers on my ironing board.  Oh well, I can at least get shit ready to burn that way when I have them tomorrow I wont have to fuck around with that.

Ohh shit.  I should go google home made claydough while I'm thinking of it.

Little T is awake.  I can see him sitting up in bed looking out the window.  I used to do that when I was a kid on rainy days wake up and just stare out the window before admitting to the world I was awake.  I also used to do it here when the T would get up before me.  But that was usually to shoot very mean glares to the construction workers who were being so fucking loud they woke me up.  Bastards.

one of those people who are uber scary looking in the morning.
I mean, I'm not going to win beauty contests or anything but for the most part I pretty much look normal.
Shaz... is not like that.  Shaz wears a lot of make up and does crazy shit to her hair so when she wakes up she's kind of scary looking.  Make up is smeared everywhere.  Big eye makeup circles and hair all crazy.*
Today, I looked like Shaz. 
Before I went out last night I did my make up, my theory was that if I wore a lot of dark eye make up it would help draw attention from the dark bags under my eyes.  Not sure if it worked or not but that's neither here nor there. 
I was exhausted last night, I think I was more tired than drunk actually and did not remove the make up before I went to bed. 
When I went into the bathroom this morning I actually gasped a bit.  I looked like I had been in a fight, both eyes were black with bits of purple, my hair was a fright but yet I had on the prettiest shiny HUGE earrings.

Yes.  I admit.  I did all of this just to have an excuse to show off my earrings.  They're pretty!!!!

I lost my fucking lighter!!.  I stole it from the airport.  (Someone left it on a bench or something probably cause they were going through security.)  I had a shit ton of lighters and they all seem to be slowly disappearing.  I grabbed this one and I was going to stick it with my bowl that way I can stop smoking with matches but the fucking thing is missing.
I think I might have picked it up and moved it when Little T was sleeping in here and now I just can't remember where the fuck I put it.

Okay, I'm getting distracted.

*I'm not picking on Shaz here... She knows she's "un-composed" in the morning... I'm just using her as an example.

Nathan's still not talking to me.
We got in a fight the other night and I haven't heard from him since.
I thought it might be one of those drunken fights that we quite often have when he says mean things but doesn't exactly remember it. 
We both said mean-ish things though. 

Oh well... I have a feeling I might be cutting my nose off to spite my face but I'm not going to call him.   
(At least not  yet.)

I really wish I didn't have kid care today.  I totally wanna go crawl into bed and hide from the world.  Or at least smoke a big fat bowl.

Ps.  Little T has the CUTEST LAUGH EVER!!!  It's like a mix of a baby's laugh and a hiccup.  It's fucking adorable.

Disclaimer:  Stoned bloging... yada yada yada

I was going to rant and rave and bitch about Christopher pissing me off this evening/morning but not it doesn't seem that important.  He pissed me off, he'll apologzie or we'll both get over it, life will move on then later on he'll piss me off again, he'll apologize or we'll both get over it... and the cycle will continue... forever and ever.  So there's no use wasting space going over the details... the end result will always be the same. 

It's cold.

I'm hungry.  Right now, there is a cheesecake sitting in the Terrorists freezer.  I wish I had a cheesecake sitting in my freezer.  Or I wish I was sitting in the Terrorist's freezer.  Though, that'd be a little cold.  I'm sitting in my living-room and it's fucking cold as shit in here

Wow.  This has been a very uneventful post and now it's over because I keep falling asleep and it's pissin me off so I'm going to go crawl into bed and pass the fuck out.

 

I knew it was going to, too. 

From the moment I woke up I knew I should have just stayed in bed.  Shut the alarm off, roll over and go back to sleep.  My insane, idealistic self wouldnt let me do it.  Being the freakish optimist I tend to be, I figured it was all in my head and climbed out of bed.

The day just started shitty.  I was in a bad mood and tired and yada yada yada.  I went out to smoke with Chris and that's when my landlord asked me about the broken screen.*  I told him Lesley got locked out.  ('Cause I don't think we're supposed to have squatters without his okay.)  Then he continued to question me about it.  Not that big of a deal... but crappy nonetheless. 

The bad vibes then felt it was time for Christopher and I to have a fight.  (A big, blowout, kind of fight.)  Chris has been staying here for about a month and a half.  Now that Shaz is staying here too the house is getting a bit crowded.  Somewhere along the line I decided that I would tell Chris that he's gotta find a new place in two weeks or start paying rent.  (He's offered before but my theory was that he'd find a place faster if he saved his money to move instead of paying us.)  I have a hard time talking with Chris about anything serious because I don't know how he's going to react to things.  This is a problem I've always had and will probably continue to have.  Anyway, he was fine with the actual two week thing but it moved on to more shit.  Deeper more emotionally related and draining shit.  That... that was exhausting. 

Oh boy did I cry.  And cry.  And cry.  I haven't cried like that in a while.  Now, in all fairness it wasn't just because of the argument he and I got into, there was just a lot of built up shit in my head and this was the catalyst that set me off. 

(I hear a train.)

So yeah, I cried and cried then showered then cried some more.  By then it was time for me to stop the self pity train and get ready because the Terrorist was going to be stopping by.

We ended up going up to his place where we ended up having couch sex.  Then the condom broke.  Fuck.  Big fuck.  Big, double, shit, goddamn, ahhhhhhhh, FUCK!!!   He and I have deduced that because my girly parts are so fucked up the actual possibility of me being fertile is probably pretty fucking low. 

Which is true.. but I'm still a bit worried and will be until I start bleeding.

The bad vibes then followed me to work.  Though nothing big happened there were a bunch of little irritating things such as...

1. Got there late... And for no reason 'cause I left the Terrorist's house 5 mins before I normally leave mine.
2. The shuttle I was on going to the airport almost went off the road.
3. I bent 3 nails all at once.  (I bent them WAY down toward the nail bed... it hurt!!)
4. When I got there barely anything was done
5. There were more but my brain is tired and remembering hurts. 

It's just been a crappy day.  I hope tomorrow goes better. 

Which, if we're being technical and saying that "today" is June 2nd and "tomorrow" is June 3rd then tomorrow is going much better.  So far on June 3rd I've...  (I'm liking lists tonight)

1. I got home to Lesley passed out but in the kitchen was a plate wrapped in a paper-towel with a note that said "EAT ME" on it.  Inside... Blueberry Pancakes!!
2. I found out the name of the Artist for this song I LOVE but couldn't for the life of me figure out who did it!  I figured it out!!!
3. Chris found a HUGE, really really nice monitor on his walk home tonight.  And... IT WORKS!!  (Granted that doesn't really affect me other than being envious as all hell I think it's some sort of proof that the cosmos are swinging in the direction of good things.)
4. On the way home from work I was behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "I'm only speeding because I really have to POOP."

*Shaz got locked out the other night.  Lesley was at the boy I haven't given a nickname to yet's house and I was at the Terrorists place so Shaz broke the screen and climbed in the window.

I was up until 5am, hit the 4 page mark and still am not done with the letter to my dad.  I was going to get up early and continue it but I saved it on Lesley's computer, not my USB drive and she took her computer to school today.  Oh well.

My Week in Bullets...

• Had the conversation with The T (see "2 out of 3 ain't bad...)  It didn't go like planned, mainly because I'm incapable of adult relationships due to my lack of  adult communication skills.  More or less I said that I will probably back off because so much time together is causing "emotions" said "emotions" were thankfully left undefined.
• Proceeded to spend the next 4 nights there.  I don't wanna back off.  I like him, I like hanging out with him, so fuck it.
• Helped him take care of some shit going on with his kid which involved driving to Hillsboro, hanging out in a court house, sitting outside the court house (getting a great tan), doing lots of dishes, providing moral support, drinking beer, partaking in BBQ activities, cleaning his fridge (and defending him to his dad when his dad started to give him shit about me being the one cleaning the fridge... it's SOOO shiny now!), laying on his back roof and getting more of a tan.  Granted these things obviously aren't all exactly related to the Little T crisis but they all happened within the same 48 hour period.
• Fought with Chris.
• Fought with Chris some more.
• Met the Ogre.
• Hung out with the Skinhead (my neighbor)*
  
• Was told by 3 people (Terrorist, Lesley and Nathan) to not sleep with the Skinhead.  (Do ya'll actually think just because I talked to him means I'm going to fuck him???  Common people give me some credit!!)
  
• Didn't see Lesley for awhile.
• Actually went over 24 hours without phone, text or visual contact from Miss. Lesley.
• Started getting along with the 19 year old supervisor.  She's a good kid, if somewhat young and inexperienced.
• My manager has basically told me she loves me and asks me every day if I like my job... I feel like an ass every time I lie to her face and say... "Yes, I do"
• Pissed the 19 year old supervisor off, took the adult route, apologized, promised to work on the thing that pissed her off.
  
• Payed Lesley about 1/2 of what I owe her.
• Payed my mom about 1/440 of what I owe her. 
  
• Decided that I'm going to stop being so cheap and get my coochie waxed.  Yay! For Coochie Waxing!!  I can't wait!
  

I think that's more or less it.  Okay, that's not true but that's all I can think of at the moment.  I'm at the Red Square and they're playing Christmas Music.  Blech.  It's fucking May!!
I'm gonna go send out a resume or two and then possibly go lay out on my front lawn.

*His skinhead ties aren't exactly known at this point but he has a swastika on his right tricep and therefore we have dubbed him "the skinhead"