Anyonebutmeplease

Die young and save yourself.

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 09:41:03 -0700

Today is pizza day.
Little T and I are making pizza today. Well, that's not entirely correct. We're making sauce and dough we might be putting it together tomorrow. All depends on the Terrorist's availability and want of delicious homemade pizza. (Schedules are a bit crazy this week.)

I haven't made homemade pizza since I was like 9. My dad and I used to make it together.
I hope it comes out well.

The question of the day today is about reconnecting with someone (anyone) from your past. Who and why? Something like that.

I have NO IDEA.

BUT...It got me thinking about one of my high-school friends. Marie.
Marie was fabulous. She was one of my few girl crushes.

I found her a year or so ago on myspace and added her. Since then we've occasionally commented each other but it was more of the initial... "Hey how the hell ya been since high school?" thing. And really nothing since then.
This girl was amazing in high-school. She was cute and fun and funky and completely open minded and all the stuff that I wanted to be (or do).

The other day she posted a bulletin that made me very sad.
Apparently she's a McCain fan.
I'm not political at all. And unless I'm hanging out with the Terrorist a lot and listening to his political talk radio with him I have basically no idea what's going on in the world of politics.
But McCain? Really?
Common Marie!

It made me so sad. Then I realized that some of our common friends (all from high-school) are McCain supporters.

I shouldn't be surprised. I grew up in rural Maine. (And since Marie has joined the military and moved to Utah.) These people haven't seen much of the world outside of their little narrow view. (Aside from Marie, who, obviously hasn't gained much of a world view.)

I think I need to delete them.
She was so great though!!!
Ugh.

I need to go get in the shower. It's getting late.
(That's fucking absurd that I think 930am is late.)

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Who the hell do you think you are?!?!

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:48:53 -0700

I've wanted to sit down and talk to you about this in a rational way, but when you force the issue while chatting online we both end up pissed off which is what happened. I've eluded to the fact that I don't want to hang out at your place quite yet. Neutral ground would be best. I think I even used that phrase at one point. Awhile ago you asked me why I don't want to be friends with your girlfriend and my response was we need to talk about this some other time. (I was having a rough day and didn't feel like adding the fight that was bound to ensue onto my list of grievances for the day.)

It didn't even have to be an issue but when you told me I come between you and everyone you try to get close too I took it as a slap in the face. Do you not remember what happened with the others? Pretty much everyone (with maybe one exception) I have expressed a dislike in, has fucked you over in some way. It's like your friend said, you're too in love with with the idea of being in love, you're blinded by everything else.* I wont apologize for being concerned for your happiness especially when I know you're two blinded to see what's going on when it's going on.

This one may be different. I have my concerns, yes, but I always have my concerns when it regards you and relationships. I've seen your track record and because of it I worry. As of this moment I stop. You two can run away and end up in eternal bliss or she can rip your heart out and do the Mexican Hat Dance on it, either way it doesn't effect me.

Honestly, I think I'd get along well with her. She seems like a cool chick; but because of the aforementioned comment about me coming between you and your girls and the fact that not once in the 5 years that I've known you have you EVER attempted to play nice with any of my friends (for more than a moment or two), I feel like even though it's extremely juvenile I need to make some sort of stand. That's why I have purposely avoided going to your place. Or hanging out with you and her.
Not once, man. Five years. The more I think about it the more it bothers me. The only reason you ever agreed to meet the Terrorist was because you could score reefer off his roommates. If it wasn't for that I'm sure you would still have never met him.

I don't particularly mind that you have no desire to hang out with my friends. I know they're great (you included) I don't need your approval. What bothers me is that you have always tried to convince me to be friendly with your people. When you wont do the same with mine. There's nothing equal about that.

Instead of focusing so much on how you think I treat you compared to my other friends, why don't you focus on how you've been treating me. Take a step back, buddy. You always think I have the worse intentions for you. Which has never once been the case. Even when I'm so pissed at you I want to scream and run around in circles ripping my hair out. Do you think it's easy to be nice and always be willing to help someone out when you know next time they get a chance they're going to automatically think the worst of you? Oh yeah, and those times when you say I'm being a bitch toward you... Stop being so self centered, if I'm having a bad day, I can't always erase it and put on a smiling face so you wont think my mood is directed at you, be a friend, be supportive, don't be on the defense. (That's not to say there weren't times when I was actually being a bitch to you, because, well, it happens, I can be a moody person, but it takes one to know one.)

Now, you know I don't have your number and you know I can't call you. So if you don't hear from me for awhile don't assume it's because I don't want you be your friend anymore. I think we should start over in some weird corny way. But that's up to you darlin' the ball is in your court.

*I know it's not a direct quote but you get the idea so don't be commenting on the inaccuracy of it.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

A Stupid Rant.

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 02:19:36 -0700

This not having a working phone thing is very enlightening.
Not in a very good way either.

NO ONE HAS FUCKING CALLED ME!!

In like 4 days, my phone has rang maybe three times, two of which were people calling to see if I was dead because they haven't heard from me in a while.
I'm totally not feeling the love.
I understand that my phone is broken and most everyone knows this and they're probably not calling because I can't actually use the phone if I don't get it at the exact moment that they're calling me but come on! I have voicemail! Leave a fucking message, say hi! Jesus.
Remind me that I have friends outside of the people I work with.
Fuck.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Put your weight against the floor, kick drum on the basement floor.

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:04:38 -0700

Edit: I had to install Firefox to do it (thanks Lesley for letting me install Firefox) but I go it to load. This is the post from the other night (Saturday night)

-----

It's hot.

I've learned that most of my friends don't like extreme heat. I, am not like them. I will take weather in the 80's or 90's over Teen's and twenty degree temps any day.

This is just silly though.

I'd probably be more okay with it if I had a fan.

I hung out with the Skinhead last night. Which was kind of odd but not really. I got home about midnight and my apartment was basically like an oven so I bummed a cigarette off Shaz and took the laptop outside to smoke and check my email. The Skinhead and I share a stoop, he went outside to let his new dog pee and smoke a cigg. We got chatting and I figured since it was cooler outside than inside I'd just bring the shit to make my poi* out there. He brought beer, I brought reefer and we just kicked it on the stoop for a few hours. Conversation was... interesting, to say the least and ranged from idle stranger small talk stuff to him asking me if I like to fuck horses (it kind of made sense in context and he was fairly intoxicated.) I came inside sometime around 3a-330a and while doing last minute things before bed I happened to look up and see this...

IMGP1466

My first thought was that it looked kind of "bloodish" but there's no way that's blood. The way it's positioned and the drops and everything then I remembered that Shaz told me she put the scissors in the kitchen 'cause she was trying to open a bottle of wine (why she was using scissors when I have like, a billion wine keys in the house I know not.) Since I saw this last night I've noticed little wine splatters here and there around the kitchen and living room, which is irritating but it's Shaz and well... I'm getting used to it. I really want to know how she got wine on the ceiling. I thought maybe the cork blew but then I realized it's a red wine not a sparkling wine... the cork is not pressurized.
I'm very curious about this.

Since I have my sd card loaded I was going to post other random pictures but going through the card, there's really nothing good. I came across the Shibari pictures which feels like it was a life time ago. Time is really fucking flying lately. Oh well, no more pretty pictures for y'all ('cause I haven't got the balls to post the tied up ones.:-)

Now I must go take a freezing shower and get ready for work.

* I've recently decided to learn how to spin fire. I've wanted to do this for awhile but the other day I just randomly decided that it's going to be my "summer project." Before you actually use fire you need to learn what the fuck you're doing. That's why I'm making Poi. Poi is a New Zealand word for "ball on string" (basically.) Once I can play successfully with my balls on string then I'll move on to igniting them.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

A confession...

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:47:39 -0700

Last week while hanging out at the Terrorist's house I heard on the radio something about Keith Olbermann.

Not knowing who this guy was I asked the Terrorist and he told me all about Keith Olbermann complete with YouTube.com clips so I could see just who this guy is.

Here's one of the clips we watched...

Keith Olbermann Special Comment *MR BUSH YOU ARE A FASCIST!*

Now... the guy is awesome simply because he's awesome.

And it has to be said... that I kind of wanna do him. I totally thought I was over my "Daddy Phase" but I think I would totally make an exception for this guy.

That's all.

Well... plus that fact that I've been playing on myspace trying to delete some of the 90 friends I have (thinking that a lot of them have to be those fake friend... people who add ya just to add ya or other non-real people accounts.) Nope. I could only get rid of 5. How do I know so many people?! That's nutty.

I need to go clean and turn the fucking heat up. It's freezing in here.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

What to do?

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Sat, 10 May 2008 14:18:21 -0700

I friend of mine is in a rough spot.
More or less everything that can go bad... has
Ranging from a loss of financial aid to his baby momma moving to Colorado with his kid to a very real possibility that he might have to find a new place to live at the end of the month. Combine all of this with no job and a very shitty job market... things really suck.
I wish I could help, but there's not a thing I can do.
I hate that.
I wish I could wrap him up in a big bear hug and make everything workout.
Blech.

Instead... I'm going to go clean, like a mother fucker.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Occasionally early mornings aren't that bad...

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:54:48 -0700

Like when you have to be at an appointment at 730a for example.
You're told to not expect to get out of there until 11a.
Then you get out a whole hour early!
"AWESOME!" You think to your self while pulling your cell phone out of your pocket getting ready to dial some friends to see if anyone wants to kick it for a few hours before your next appointment at noon.

Then it occurs to you that it's only 10am. All your friends are either in class or SLEEPING because MORNINGS FUCKING SUCK!!!!!
So you call your noon appointment to see if they'd be willing to switch it to now so you can get shit done with.

The moral of this story...

No matter how much you think mornings are okay... in some way or another they'll turn around and bite you in the ass just as soon as they can. DON'T TRUST 'EM!!!

I'm going to try to not go take a nap. Get stuff taken care of for my FUCKING EARLY ASS shift tomorrow. Maybe smoke a bowl, maybe get some coffee, maybe hang out with people. Then be in bed ideally no later than 8p.

Ugh.
I really am old.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

You will be loved.

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 20:46:12 -0800

I love the fact that no matter where I go I always find people who accept me into there family. It started with Renee and her family. Then moved on to Nate and his family. Though it may not be as extreme with Christopher's family I still hang out with his brother and sister-in-law more I thought I would. Even on the ship... I found people who became my family.

Now it's the Mckechnie-Gore family. I've stayed here before, have met both Elaine and Andy before I arrived a few weeks ago but I was still worried that things would be awkward. And at first they were but that didn't last long. The kids love me, to the point where when I walk in the room in the morning the youngest yells..."It's Megan! Look mama, it's my friend Megan!" (It's fucking adorable) then they both give me cuddles and then go back to playing or eating or whatever it was they were doing. As far as Elaine and Andy... I can see myself hanging out with Elaine in the very near future and Andy gives me shit like I am actually family

It's a great feeling knowing that pretty much where ever I go there is someone there who loves me.

Now I need to go get shit ready for the OG. It's my fucking orientation and I need to be in uniform... what the fuck is with that?

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I'm here... Now what?

nobody@vox.com(Anyonebutmeplease) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 18:50:25 -0800

I think I'm having a bit of a quarter life crisis.

For the past 6 months I've been focusing on getting to Portland. I've gotta get to Portland. I've gotta get to Portland. Can't stand Maine, gotta get to Portland.

Now that I'm here I'm kind of freaking out.

I don't have much money so I have to start working soon. And with every fiber of my being I don't want to go back to the Olive Garden but it's the smart thing to do. That way I can write off my trip, have a job and still have insurance.

Lesley's mom wants her to go to Singapore in March and Lesley asked me if I wanted to go. I'd love to go but I don't have the money so Lesley's gonna see if she can get me a free ticket which would be AWESOME. That's another reason why I should go back to the Olive Garden. Because I don't care if I just quit there. I could come back from Singapore and find another job.

Then there's the question of whether or not I want to stay in Portland. And by stay I mean work here or work on the train. I would kind of like to hang out here for a bit. Chill out, make some friends, and just BE in Portland. But I also want the money that working on the train would bring.

I've made a new friend. I fear that this friend is going to turn into a long term commitment and we all know how I handle those. Well, the commitment itself isn't that bad it's more the idea of it that FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT. The friend... his name is Hamish. He's a 6 month old cocker spaniel and I'm growing more in love with him everyday. He belongs to Elaine and her husband but they have decided that they can't handle two hyper-active kids a cat and a puppy. (Who could?) Anyway they've been looking for someone to take him and Lesley has mentioned bringing him with us but I didn't really take her seriously until I met him. He's so fucking great. Dumb as shit. But adorable and lovable as all hell. They got him from a mall pet-store so I'm sure he's been in-bred about a thousand times at one of those puppy farms which would explain why he's so stupid.

A dog. Wow. Total lifestyle change. After Lucifer I decided against pets because they're too much work. Cat's not much so but dogs... they're basically like having a kid that poops outside. I don't have the lifestyle for a dog. I move around to much, I like being free to go and do and move and live wherever I want to.

But I love this dog.

I think I could handle it. If Lesley will help me out and take over dog custody for a few weeks at a time, should I decide to work on the train.

Monday.

Monday I'm going to go to the Olive Garden. I'm going to hate it and I'll probably vomit in my mouth a little bit even as I'm smiling at the GM, but I'm going to go. And I'm going to convince them that I've got the HOSPITALIANO! that they want and I'm everything they could ever desire in a server. Then, as soon as I find out about Singapore I'm going to start looking for another job.

Train, no train. We'll decide on that later.

Then there's the Terrorist. Which really has nothing to do with my pseudo mid-life crisis but I feel bad. I was supposed to call him today to hang out but I never did. Why didn't I? I don't fucking know. Now it's too late, well no it's not but I'm going to hang out with Lesley at her work and let her feed me free food. And that's going to last until 12ish so yeah, I guess it is too late. I think, as much as I want to meet him I need to relax about it. I JUST got back. He's a cool cat. He knows I've got stuff going on and though I do want to hang out with him I have other obligations... such as finding a dog friendly apartment.

Fuck.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend