7 posts tagged “happy”

3 years ago today* I arrived for the first time ever in Portland, Oregon.

I still remember that day sooo well.  Fuck I was scared.

Chris and I got off the train, got a cab to take us to our apartment.  What a shit-hole that was.  Though I didn't realize it until right before we moved out.  Then we showered and headed out to explore the city.  I remember bits of that, what I remember the most was when we got to Pioneer Square.  It was during rush hour and the sidewalks for the max were crammed with people.  I remember thinking I would never be able to function here alone.  Now, three years later, it's become my home of choice.  I didn't have to come back to Portland, I WANTED to come back here.  I've met a great boy whom though I thought things would never pass the point of fuck buddy/pseudo boyfriend, they have and I couldn't be happier.

There are some aspects of my life that I would like to change but over all I'm really happy with the way things are and I kind of feel like I owe Chris a "Thank You" for it.  Without him I don't think I would have ever left Maine.  If he and I never started dating I seriously think I'd still be in Maine, probably barefoot, pregnant and miserable beyond belief. 
I never would have gone to Hawaii, I never would have seen Portland, I never would have driven cross country (alone).  I never would have met the Terrorist, I never would have developed the improved (not yet perfect but definitely improved) sense of self that I have.  It's kind of crazy how one thing can, with enough time, totally effect your whole life.

I miss Chris.  I've been thinking about him a lot lately, not really sure why, but he's been on my mind.  It could be because this whole Portland-versary thing has been coming up, or it just could be because I haven't talked to him (REALLY talked to him) in months.  I'm not really sure what's going on in his life but I know things have been better (at least that's what I gathered the last time we chatted) so I can understand if he's not wanting to talk to people.  But that doesn't mean I don't miss him. 

I don't really know where I'm going with this.  I'm just rambling stuff that's been swimming around my head for the past few days.  Hopefully now it's out it'll stop swimming around my brain. 

* I think it was on the 3rd but I cant really remember... I know it was right around the 3rd.

I need to be in bed at a semi-reasonable hour tonight.  I've been too grumpy all day.  Starting this morning with a comment by the T that I took WAY too personally.  It's just continued to grow from there. 

Last night after posting about my irritability I was in bed and I got a text from the Terrorist offering his ear and cigarettes for venting purposes.  So I ran up here for a smoke and a chat. 

The cause of my irritability was this:  the boy I haven't given a nickname to yet has more or less moved in.  That in itself doesn't really bother me.  I've made it no secret that I'm not his number one fan but I can be civil.  He needs a place to stay while he and Les look for a new place so fine... he can crash with us.  (Plus he's paying rent.)  What i didn't think of is that fact that he has a dog.  So, last night, when I got home and poked my head in Lesley's room to say hi, the furry four legged friend was chillin on the floor. 
Not cool.
Personally I am a pet lover.  I think they're fabulous.  Dogs, Cats, Reptiles, Fish... whatever.  The problem though, is that it has been specifically stated in our rental contract and other times that there are NO PETS! allowed.  So, the pooch has got to go.  Unless Lesley gets the okay from our landlord I'm going to have to be a cunt about this.  I refuse to loose that apartment because of her boyfriends dog. 

The other cause's of my irritability are from non-direct sources.  Things such as my nephew who is the only 15 year old douche bag I know.  The Baby Momma and the Baby Momma's Momma are causing grief for the T which isn't cool.  The fact that noone has called me to offer me a surpremely awesome job (nevermind the fact that I haven't sent resumes out anywhere) is a fairly big irratation.  Little T... No... Little T has been awesome today.  AND thanks to my sister we've come up with a wonderful idea for dinner.  My sister is kind of irratating me but I think she's finnally pulled her head out of her ass. 

Okay that's enough.  I need to do stuff.  Maybe go pick some strawberries.  The T's neighbors have a yard full of strawberries and they've given us free reign but I keep forgetting about it.  Today would be a good day for that.

Plus, Strawberries are happy.

I talked to Nathan!!

Woot Woot!

I called and left him a voice mail then he called me back and we actually conversated.

I'm happy.  And bordering on being late for work.

Tomorrow...
Print up Welcome Home Sign  (maybe do that tonight if I can remember to grab paper from work)
FInd cheapest way to Ship massage table to PDX.
Color Welcome Home Sign with Lil' T.
Pay online bills at the T's with his non-stolen internet connection.
Go to bank (if time)
Text Jolene and tell her to bite the bullet and have the discussion with her gentleman friend.

I love birthdays.
I think they're great.  A day to honor a person's life is a beautiful thing. 

Today, is the Terrorist's birthday, I think I'm more excited than he is.
That's okay, I can restrain myself.  I understand that not everyone is as into birthdays as I am.

But that doesn't mean I can't wish him a...

I accomplished most of my To-Do's for yesterday.  And I'm in a great mood.  (One having nothing to do with the other... at least I don't think...)

Go me!

Granted, half of them were done this morning because I forgot my freaking wallet at home and I couldn't deposit my check without it.  Ugh.  Oh well. 

New To-Do's for Today!

1. Oil Shoes!
2. Shower
3. Watch the Piano Teacher
4. Put laundry away.
5. Bribe Shaz into cutting my hair.  Hmmm How short do I want to go?
6. Ice Cream?

Okay... time to get cracking on that list.  :-)

Happy Hump Day Ya'll!!!

Today... isn't the best day. 
Feeling a little down, feeling a little blue.
I was googling shit and I realized it was all yucky depressing shit.
I realized I needed to see something happy.
So I googled "Something Happy"
This it what came up.

Yes I know this is oldish and everyones seen it already but it's sweet and not only did it make me smile but it gave me goose bumps too!

So just watch it and be happy!!

The hormones are raging... I'm pissy and happy and cranky and silly and just generally moody.

Yep. 

I'm gonna start my period.

It's a mostly good thing.  I mean, it's always good that I start my period because the alternative is just something I'm not quite ready to deal with.  Aside from that it's also good because I'd rather get it over with now and not be bleeding when I'm driving because having to stop every few hours to change my tampon would REALLY put a dent in the time I make.

But it's bad because... well because it makes me... for lack of better word... Goopy. 

I don't like being goopy.  When I'm goopy I think that song lyrics like these apply to me sooo accurately...

All my life I've been searching for somethin'
Somethin' never comes, never leads to nuthin'
Nothin' satisfies, but I'm getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope  - Foo Fighters

or

When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by."  - Incubus

But... I KNOW that I'm being goopy.  And I also know that these same hormones which make me goopy and evoke a certain longing are the same hormones which are going to cause me to want to punch everyone in the face in a few days.

So... I'm going to try to ignore them.  And I'm going to try to remember that even though I may really totally and completely want to cuddle up with some cute boys and do forever-ish things with him it's this same boy that'll most likely drive me to the verge of homicide a few months down the road.

Right?