16 posts tagged “stoned”

Disclaimer: My vagina is not happy.  I'm stoned.  Lets use some deductive reasoning to figure out that because of these two things, combined with the fact that I am blogging means there's going to be probably some details you don't wanna hear about.  Unless you're a sick, nosey muthah fucka.  But hey... it takes one to know one.

Chris got home not too long ago.  While wandering around collecting things for a shower he noticed my subject line and said something about the Dead.  Though it is a Dead line I'm not actually listening to the Dead.  I'm listening to Sublime.  Then after a brief conversation I realized that I TOTALLY need to listen to some music I haven't listened to in awhile.

Chris is laughing and I have a sneaking suspicion it's at me.

Anyway... I ran in, got my CD book and in mere moments I'm gonna be jamming out to tunes of my past.  That reminds me, the other day when I was getting ready for work Lesley informed me that she's never met anyone who rocks out while getting ready as much as I do.  What an awesome compliment!!

Update... Though it took some work I finally got Cd's playing.  Though good, so far this experience isn't as magical as I thought it would be.  That's alright, I've got a bunch of Cd's, I'll find something that hits the spot.

Work last night was... eh.  I worked with my general manager.  Which is cool because she's salaried and doesn't get a cut of the tips which means I got them all.  Though I haven't actually counted them I had to of made $20-$25.  Which is unheard of for that place.  Working with the GM wasn't actually a bowl of cherries but she did inform me that I'm going to be getting a $.75/hr raise effective July 1st and she's getting the uppers that I should be considered for Asst. Manager.  Though I don't think that sounds like a great idea because I'm not really into Management it's awesome that she thinks that.  There's nothing open at the moment but considering there are 5 stores and they basically have disposable employees it's something that could happen before too long.  I'd rather find something serving some place else.  I've kind of given up on the job hunting thing until after Nate leaves.
(Finally... got to the awesome song on this Cd!  There's some hardcore rock-age going on over here.)

Went over to the Terrorist's house last night after work.  Which normally doesn't happen on weeknights because he has to be at work at 9am but the past few nights exceptions have been made.  I feel bad though.  He's loosing sleep, two nights ago, I was at the door for 5 or 10 minutes knocking and ringing the bell 'cause he had dozed off and could barely keep his eyes open once I was inside.  (It was really cute, though.)  Then again I'm loosing sleep as well, kind of and he is the one who suggests it.  (I'm trying to talk myself out of feeling guilty, for some reason when I dropped the Catholic religion the guilt part of it felt the need to hang on and occasionally* rear it's irritating head.)

I think my boobs are shrinking.  I've been slowly dropping a few pounds here and there over the past... whatever.  Cool!  Actually awesome!  But I don't really want that weight to come from my boobs.  The reason I think my boobs are shrinking is because I often store things in my bra... Money, phone, Mp3 player, lighter, bowl... ya know... the necessities.  Twice this week, stuff has fallen out.  I don't think my tata's are taking up the same amount of space therefore the "stuff" isn't as secure as it normally is.  That's crap.

My vagina. 
I don't think I'll ever understand the vagina.  It's kind of a parent/child type relationship.  I love it dearly and can't imagine my life without it but I just don't get why it does what it does.
I thought I had another case of the broken va jay jay.  Started garlic treatment then I realized I was starting my period.  Then it occurred to me that in the past I used to get the symptoms of the broken va jay jay around my period, so i figured it was just a slight imbalance cause of the changing environment.  That's cool and all but there was something still not right that's when I realized that there were little cuts or skin tears.  (Sounds worse than it is...though don't get me wrong it's not entirely pain free.)  I have no clue what the fuck this is from.  I mean, the T and I aren't exactly gentle but there hasn't been anything lately that would cause this.  Tres Weird.  Oh well, it's mostly gone away.

My Uterus.
Is fucking with me.  That's the only explanation I have.  I finally started my period.  I think it's really weird that I start shortly after having a broken condom incident which is the first example that it's fucking with me.  The second is that I'm not practically hemorrhaging.  It's been 7 months.  There's gotta be a lotta shit that needs to be cleaned out but nope, it;s a nice light "normal" period.  Actually it's lighter than normal.  I haven't be doubled over from cramps or nausea.  It's all very weird to me but I'm totally okay with it.  Last time I went this long between periods I could barely walk my cramps were so bad and at one point I woke up (at Nates) and actually thought I was hemorrhaging or miss-carrying an unknown fetus.  

I've always kind of viewed my uterus as a sort of subconscious.  It's the part of me that wants to get married and have babies and do all that "normal" or "typical" stuff.  Maybe that's why it gets so pissy sometimes, because I constantly fight to push those feelings away.  I've gotta work on that.  It's okay to want those things in fact, it's very normal to want those things...right?

Fuck, it's almost 2p.  I have been screwing around online for like 5 hours.  HOLY FUCK.  I need to go smoke a bit more then shower.  It's gonna be a good one! But first, I need to find a good shower cd!  :-)
 
*By "occasionally" I mean all the fricken time.

I'm squished between two twins.

It's not as great as you might think it would be.  They're both passed out and not moving at all.  I think I'm going to plan an escape under the coffee table....

Woohoo!  I made it out!

They're still passed out though.  We were supposed to have a girls night.  Well okay so it wasn't really a "girls night" it was more of "3 girls with nothing to do so lets gorge on McDonald's and watch a scary movie" night.  I had to shut said movie off because it was getting somewhat suspenseful and I knew if I left it on I'd end up screaming and that would freak them out.  We can't have that.  So... no movie.  Plus I don't handle scary movies alone very well. 

I went home early today.

The yucky tummy didn't bother me to much before work but I think it's because I pretty much stayed stoned from when I got up to when I went to work.  Then while at work I couldn't smoke (obviously) and the yucky tummy came back.  Never actually ralphed but generally felt like shit.  I did a bunch of shit, closed as much stuff as I could, then took off about 930p.  Got home, hung out, smoked a bit and boom I feel fine. 

I need to go to bed. 

Yeah... it's getting late.  I need to sleep.  And maybe smoke more...cause my tummy is gettin icky again.

Disclaimer:  I'm tired. 

That's not really the Disclaimer though.  It was going to be about the fact that I'm stoned and about to blog but because I am rather tired and... well... baked I've decided that I'm going to go to bed instead.  

If I can make in there.

Disclaimer:  Though I’m not actually stoned at the moment (well not that much at least) I am in the process of becoming stoned and therefore my content matter and language will probably become a tad “colorful.”  Consider yourself warned.   

Common guys?!?!  Where’s the love???

I cannot, for the life of me, connect to any wireless networks.  I even went as far as walking around the apartment and checking signals everywhere.  The two main ones we connect to will let us connect to them but not to the Internet.  I don’t really know what that means.  Maybe they forgot to pay their comcast bill? 

I was home and out of my work clothes by 12.15a!!!   Awesome man! 

Tonight went by quick.  And fuck I peed a lot today.  Very rarely (actually never, so far) do I drink a lot of coffee at work, tonight being the exception.  Insane amounts of coffee have passed through me this evening.  Which is why I need to pee right now.

I wish Lesley was home.  I have this strange urge to go check out our neighborhood bars.  (There are 2 bars two or so blocks away.)  I’ve lived here for almost 3 months and I haven’t set foot in either of them.  Somehow, that’s wrong to me. 

She’s at a concert tonight, hopefully having shitloads of fun.  Beirut.  Some emo band.  Ugh.   We did pho today.  Had lots of fun.  I miss our pho dates.  We figured it out while at pho and it’s been like a week and a half to two weeks since we actually hung out.  The rest of our communication had been done via text, phone or either while rushing to get to work or just before passing out.  … I was going somewhere with this but the blood to THC ratio has gotten a little low so  unfortunately I can’t remember where exactly I was going.  Sorry.

I have to pee.

Called a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) tonight while I was on my break.  This friend has a job that requires them to telecommunicate with people who have medical questions.  This evening they took a call from a gentleman who had had some gastroenterological issues.  Unfortunately this dear man hadn’t had a bowel movement since Wednesday.  In and of itself this would be an unfavorable situation but when you combine it with the gentleman’s name, well I don’t think I’d bother calling for advice.  The man’s name?  Colon.   Mr. Colon’s last name is even worse.  Colon Glasscock.  Some parents are so cruel. 

I went pee.

(Lesley got home.  We chatted, she gave me food, I gave her cookies.  Awesome sandwich.  The show was good.  She shook the dudes hand.  “He’s sooo hot” was repeated a few times following the hand shaking story.  Talked some more about general stuff.  She went to bed. )

Something regarding pee.

As I was pulling out the power cord to Lesley’s laptop I realized that I still haven’t had sex on this couch.  Why is that?  The T and I have had an open date to change that but we just haven’t gotten to it.  That needs to change.  (Don’t ask me how the power cord thing make me think of couch fucking.)

In general I’m not one of those women who fret constantly about their weight.  I’m a big girl, I know this and for the most part, I’m okay with it.  I have nice tits because of it.  In fact I have no desire to be one of those super skinny types, they seem… breakable.  I don’t wanna be breakable.  Now that that is out there I feel its okay to say… I FIT INTO MY SKINNY JEANS!!!   Woot, woot!!!  Granted, they’re not the most comfortable pair of jeans I own at the moment but I was actually able to wear them out and not suffocate to death.  I haven’t fit into them since December or November-ish.  YAY SKINNY JEANS!!! 

Slacker, bitch, faghag, whore.

I got three fortunes today.  (I generally get multiple fortunes in fortune cookies... weird, but true.)  The three fortunes I got today all had to do with money.  It’s kind of weird. The fortunes…

·         Something on 4 wheels will soon be a fun investment for you!

·         The star of riches is shining on you this month.

·         Reaffirm your faith in financial plans – make a budget.

 Maybe it’s the universe trying to tell me something.  Perhaps to find a new job?

Actually I think I’m going to go do that.  FUCK.  I can’t get online.  This is frustrating!!

I wanna find a new job.  I don’t like my job.  Though my co-workers are pretty awesome (even the 19 year old supervisor) I’m sick of it.  Management is fucked.  Which I know is more or less the case everywhere but when I’m making minimum wage along with $40-$150 a night I can let a lot more roll off my back than when I’m making minimum wage plus $10-$20 a night.  Not to mention the fact that working at the airport just plain sucks.

Huh? What? Show me what you got!  Rub it against my thigh!

It’s cold in here.  I’m going to bed.

I didn't mean to get this stoned. 

I got in the shower... was gonna do a salt scrub, loofah, shave... do all that girlie stuff that I haven't done in far too long.  I knew Christopher was coming over cause he called me to say he'd be by and could I leave the door unlocked.  When he got here he popped in the bathroom to say "hey."  I mentioned reefer, he stepped out for a moment and when he got back there was a packed bowl in his hand.  So I paused my salt scrub and took a few hits.  Now I can't function.

Oops.

I have to be at Wax On at 6p.

I haven't smoked in a week.  I know that it's really a long time at all... but it kind of feels like forever.  Last time I smoked was when I smoked for the last time with the T.  Which I was thinking about the other day and it made me very sad.  He's my (was my) primary smoking buddy.  Now he can't smoke.  That sucks.  I mentioned it to him the other day and he told me not to worry about it cause he can drink and I can smoke and all will be right in the world and though that's better than an entire sober existence... it's still not quite the same.  Oh well... I'll survive. 

The kids in my back yard are going nuts.  I'm not sure what they're doing because I can't see them (just hear them) but they're yelling like crazy.  They're hilarious!  A month or so ago I looked out my bedroom window and one of them was using a garbage pail cover to block the other one who was attempting to spray him with a garden hose.  They rock!!

but instead I'm going to blog cause I'm cool like that.

I have no reefer and that saddens me greatly!!
I also fucked up my ankle and that too saddens me.

Why don't I have any reefer you ask?
'Cause I smoked it all. 
I generally get my reefer from the T's neighbor and I meant to call him to see if I could get some today before work but I totally forgot.  Why?  'Cause I was stoned.  Smart, huh?  Oh well.  I shouldn't smoke.  I should just go to bed anyway.

My ankle...
I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure I fucked it up at work. 
The details are kind of involved and somewhat embarrassing but the condensed version... I fell.
And I blame She Wants Revenge (because god knows I'm not to blame for ANYTHING in my life)
The good news (if I recall correctly from my massage training) because it hurts during active and not passive movement that means its a muscle injury (not a ligament injury) which means if I tough it out it'll probably get better in a few days.
Possibly, if I get the motivation, I'll explain later with visual or audio aids.

For now, I'm going to go crawl into the magical bed and drift off to Happy Friday thoughts.  'Cause TOMORROW IS MY FRIDAY!

FYI - The updated parts are in Purple.  :-)

Get up before noon - Check
Shower before noon - Check
Have coffee - Brewing - Done (Possibly gonna have more)
Find out what the T is up to tonight - Done (We're watching movies incase you're wondering)
Finish filling out paperwork - check
Look for jobs - Kind of sort of did.
Apply for food stamps - Totally chickened out.  There were to many people so I said fuck it and figured I'd go back FIRST THING tomorrow morning.
DO NOT, DONOT DONOT DONOT get stoned! - So far so good.
Write dad a letter if time - Attempted.  I opened OpenOffice then decided to take a nap.  (Sorry Dad)
Pho with Lesley - It was tasty.  I even have leftovers!
Find out if Chris wants a key. - Asked him... still not sure of an answer but that's alright, we'll figure it out.

I think that's about it. 

Oh! Pick up room a bit. - Gonna go do that now.

There... that's it.

I want to fucking tear you apart!!

It's public Kudos Time! 
Yay!... public kudos time!

Today... the kudos go to a lot of people.  Why?  I'm not really sure, maybe it's because I'm happy and wanna share the love.  Maybe it's because I know a lot of awesome people.  Or maybe it's because I'm a dork for doing "Public Kudos" on my blog.

The first is to Lesley and the Terrorist.  For introducing me to Fiona.  The new love of my life.  She's fabulous!  Between the two of them they played her just enough for me to get hooked.  Then the Terrorist put some Fiona (and other stuff) on my mp3 player and it's FUCKING AWESOME!  She Want's revenge - Tear you apart.  Awesome awesome song.

Okay so there were more kudos than that but I'm baked and I've TOTALLY lost my train of thought so I'm just gonna end the Kudo portion of this entry and move on to the rambling.

Rambling to commence in

3....

2.......

1...........
Start!

I love this song.
The Jeep Song.  The Dresden Dolls. 
Nate made me listen to it because every time I saw a Greenish Outback or Forester  or a cop car... I freaked.  Then I heard the song and laughed because it was pretty much my theme song.

Ahhh... Back to Fiona. 

I hung out with The Terrorist (aka Tall Boy) yesterday.  I met his kid which.... I don't know.  It was really cool.  When he mentioned it I was a bit surprised that he was asking then surprise moved to nervousness.  Why was I nervous to meet a kid when all kids pretty much love me?  No fucking idea... but I was.  And then there's always that... "I'm fucking your daddy" thing going on in the back of my head that I think kids can see cause they're such perceptive little buggers.  I had a great time though.  Little T (for lack of better nickname) is one heck of a smart 8 year old.  With a vocabulary that is probably just as good as mine.  (Not that mine is all that special but for an 8 year old I think it's pretty impressive.)  We all hung out, watch some Tv, played with some LEGO'S (I fucking love LEGO'S) ate dinner then Little T went to bed and Big T and I hung out for a bit longer.  Big T walked me downstairs as I was leaving which turned in to a nice make-out session then I left.

Now because I'm me and I share A LOT with my friends, Lesley and I got talking about this make-out session when she got home.  We've come to the conclusion that we like making out.  (Not together for all you pervs out there.)  Just in general.  It's fun.  And though I am I bit of a perverted type and do love sex, it's nice to make out once and awhile and not have it turn to sex.  At least not right off.  Granted... I say this now, but last night on the drive home I was singing a TOTALLY different tune.

I have 9mins left. 
I haven't really done anything online that I was supposed to. 
But then again I think I forgot everything I wanted to do.

I have two interviews. 
Monday and Tuesday.
Ones for a place in Tigard the other is for Paddy's downtown.

I need to clean.  My place is much messier than it was supposed to be.  Or something like that.
Cookies.  I want to make cookies.

My uterus hurts. 
It keeps starting to shed.  Then stops. 

FUCKING BLEED ALREADY!!

I need to pee. 

I'm broke.
Right around this time in my broke-ness I start secretly hoping some rich relative I've never met will kick it and somehow leave me a boat load of money.
I don't need a boat load though.
Just enough to get me drunk.
Or stoned.
I'm torn... between going out and being social and getting trashed.  And staying in and getting baked and being a hermit.
Doesn't really matter though cause I can't do either.
Bummer.
I'm hungry.

This weekend has been soooo much better than last weekend.

Thursday I went and saw the family.  Got to download a whole bunch of mp3's thanks to the use of my mom's computer.  I heart them.  This is one of my new favorite songs...

That along with another one by Atmosphere called "Don't ever fucking question that."   I need to catch an Atmosphere show sometime.  Way Way back in the day before I was really into them they played in Portland, Maine.  Chris and I talked about going and we both even had the night off but for whatever reason we never got around to it. 

But as I was saying... I hung out with my mom and sis for Lunch.  Then went and saw my Dad and Terry for Dinner.  I think I can honestly say I'm not a fan of Ruby Tuesdays.  I got all the stuff I was storing at my moms.  Packed up my car and headed back to Portland.  I had a momentary panic attack about the amount of stuff in my car and driving cross country but Katie reassured me that I'd be fine (thanks Katie).  I dropped all my stuff off at work because there's way more room in the bay at work than there is in Nathan's apartment, not to mention the fact that I really don't wanna carry all that shit up 5 flights of stairs. 

Friday I got to pick up some hours at work.  Woohoo!  Plus I got to say Good Bye to OMS.  Woot woot!!   I smoked way to much though and I was basically brain dead all day. 

Wow. I'm rambling.

Before I leave I need to remember to do these things..

1. Put emergency key in the emergency key spot.

2. Get an atlas.

3.  Go see the boys, Shawn & Sherri and get Pho with Mo.  Which could be an issue because I'm not working any overnights this week and I thought I was working all overnights

Wow... Ben Haper has the sexiest forearms.

I should go do something productive....